Do you think meeting girls is hard? It is actually super easy. If you want to learn how easy it is to meet girls, the next 1600 words could change your life.
If you have trouble approaching one girl, how about approaching two girls?
There is a bar near where I work. I often stop off for lunch or after work with one or more of my buds. This place has a big lunch crowd, a big happy hour crowd, and later in the evening there are lots of tourists and young people.
The other day I am having a beer with my buddy after work and two girls come in and get a seat by the window. One of them caught my eye. I reminisced about how many times back in the day when I was in the same situation, and knowing nothing about this stuff, did nothing.
Back then I told myself that these were two girls who wanted to hang out with each other after work and didn’t want to be bothered by any dudes.
Your negative thoughts about meeting girls are mostly just excuses
What I have since learned is that this kind of thinking is really just an excuse for not taking action. I say this even though two girls going to a bar together might only to spend the evening talking to one another.
The big secret of attraction is realizing that meeting girls is mostly a numbers game
When you study dating you learn either right away or later, that making a romantic connection is in many respects a numbers game. No man, not even famous movie stars, can get every girl. For the great majority of men, there is a certain percentage of women who will find them at least somewhat attractive. It is possible to improve that percentage by a certain amount by doing all kinds of things like getting a better haircut, wearing more expensive or hipper clothes, working out, just to mention a few, but you will still only succeed with a certain percentage of girls.
Once you realize that meeting girls is largely a numbers game, the next realization is that to dramatically improve your results, you have to become ready to approach pretty much anywhere and any time. So the truth is the two girls may both be married or have boyfriends, they may even be dating each other, or maybe they just want to spend the evening with one another catching up. Or maybe not.
There is no way to tell for sure unless you step up. If you step up every single time, your dating chances improve.
But just knowing this is not enough. You still have to do it. It might be scary but you have to go beyond your comfort zone.
To succeed at meeting girls, be the best version of yourself
But before I get to actual techniques, I have one general suggestion first. Be yourself! All kinds of personality types can work when meeting girls. Even if you’re shy you can still get girls. If you’re loud and obnoxious you can still get girls. If you are brainy and introverted you can get girls.
The best dating coaches all agree that there are many styles of “game” that work. So, there is no need to copy anyone else. Indeed, If you try to copy someone else, the girls will almost always see you as inauthentic.
What you really want to do is to be yourself, but be the best version of yourself that you can.
When you study, learn, practice, and go outside your comfort zone, and have realized that success is largely a numbers game your results will inevitably start to improve. As your results improve you start to think about yourself differently, and you actually start to grow into a better version of yourself. Eventually you will become almost a different person.
The man who starts the journey with the idea that “It is very rare that a girl will be attracted to me” is not the same man who, a year or so later, has had enough successes that his attitude is now “almost every girl that I am into will be attracted to me”.
This isn’t just theory. It is my experience and the experience of thousands of other men.
Its not what you say its the way that you say it that counts
Actually its how you say it and who you are.
The first thing you need to know is that it doesn’t matter what the first thing is that comes out of your mouth, unless it is totally asinine. Even then you can just laugh at yourself and keep going. What matters is that you be yourself, but a version of yourself where you have confident body language, good eye contact, confidence, and preferably a sense of humor.
The best openers are things that you think about on the spur of the moment. But it bears repeating, it really doesn’t matter what you say. The vast amount of in person communication, especially in any man-woman interaction is non verbal in nature. Pretty much all women are very intuitive. When you approach the girl or girls she/ they will instantly and unconsciously react to these non verbal cues. She will likely also be able to sense within the first few seconds what you are all about.
If you have the guts to approach girls anywhere and anytime, and actually do it, your will have some successes. When you have amassed enough successes your confidence level will go through the roof, and it may be that you have changed so much that you are practically a different person.
Once approaching a girls has become easy, the real fun starts.
You still have to go outside your comfort zone, but it will be much easier this time, and much more fun, because the game has now begun.
Now your approaches can be effortless, playful, and experimental.
Approaching two girls is easy once you learn a little technique
In case you haven’t noticed, so far I haven’t taught you any technique. That’s because technique is much less important than developing confidence and a more positive self image. If you have the right attitude and confidence, you can have good results without any technique, and you can learn your own technique through trial and error.
For approaching two girls, a couple of very basic techniques will help you improve exponentially faster.
When you approach two girls, you have to interact (and maybe even flirt) with both. The girl that you like will almost certainly be affected by the other girl’s opinion of you. The other girl doesn’t have to be into you but likely she will either approve or disapprove. With two girls, especially if they know one another and have gone out together before, there is a non verbal communication between them that is almost telepathic.
If you ignore the other girl she will get bored or even annoyed and suggest that they leave.
How to “close” with 1 girl
If you have approached one girl, and the interaction has gone well, you want to close, depending on where you met her, by either getting a number, or by convincing her to go on an “insta date”.
You may not want to try to close unless the interaction has gone exceptionally well. Its up to you. The insta date is always better than the number close. If you have met her in the street or in someplace like a supermarket, you can invited her to go for coffee. It helps a lot if you already know some places nearby. If you are in a bar, you can suggest changing venue.
If you are going for a number close, you again want to avoid being tentative or timid. Once I started to get good I never asked for a number. Instead I started taking out my phone and handing it to the girl saying “put your number in my phone.” This always worked really well for me, I theorize because I have chill laid back personality and I look kind of like a college professor.
How to close with 2 girls
If the interaction with The girl you like is going really well (and this may not happen the first, second, or even tenth time you try), all you have to do is say very politely to the other girl “could I steal her for just a minute”, maybe adding “I promise I will bring her right back”.
Then you somehow get the girl to step away with you somewhere nearby where you can have the closest thing possible to a private conversation. You then tell your girl that you had a lot of fun and would like to go out for coffee, or whatever, with her sometime. If she says yes I suggest you hand her you phone and say “put your number in my phone”. Since there are 2 girls you may want to do this in such a way that the other girl doesn’t see what you are doing.
That’s all there is to it! And once you have learned how to do it it’s incredibly easy.